THE POLAROID
©Mirandagk@aol.com
CHAPTER 15
"I need to go to The Forum first! It’s over at Caesar’s Palace!” Justin called out from the back of the limo to the driver.
Cringing at all the noise, Trace threw his bottle of water at Justin so he would shut up. Apparently, he and Serena had way too much fun the night before and were dealing with the repercussions.
“You just can’t stay away from the Southern Comfort can you?” Justin teased his friend.
Serena slowly slid into the car wearing baby blue velour pants a stained white t-shirt and some green flip flops. Her hair was disheveled and haphazardly placed up in what vaguely resembled a ponytail. Her face was very pale and her eyes were bloodshot.
“You look a hot mess!” Kerri exclaimed, doubling over in laughter with Justin.
Serena was in so much pain that it was a struggle to even lift her middle finger in response to their jokes.
The day had started off late for the four of them. They had planned to go and do a little shopping before they left town at five, but the plan was tossed when they all were still in bed at noon. Trace and Serena were passed out in their room on the other side of the penthouse and Justin and Kerri were too busy watching “Training Day” to care.
At three o’clock they’d finally left the confines of the hotel to hit a store or two. From there they were going straight to the airport to head back to LA, so that Justin could make an appearance at the House of Blues at ten.
When the limo pulled up to Caesar’s Palace, Justin and Kerri were the only ones to get out and go inside. Fearing that they would both be sick, Serena and Trace had decided to stay in the car.
“...What about this one?” he asked, looking to Kerri for her opinion. She merely scrunched up her nose and shook her head at the extravagant bobble.
Justin continued to talk to the clerk about the item he wanted while Kerri walked around looking down at various jewelry encased in their glass prisons. She stopped when she spotted a charm bracelet. There were a variety of charms to choose from ranging in astrological signs to zoo animals. But one charm in particular caught her eye. It was a small diamond encrusted charm in the shape of a Treble Clef. Next to it were other musical notes and even a turntable. The lighting in the store must have been perfect, because it seemed to sparkle forever.
Justin walked over to Kerri while the jeweler was writing down his order. He saw her gazing at the bracelet and asked if she wanted to see it.
“No. That’s okay.”
“Are you sure? It would look absolutely exquisite on a wrist as enchanting as yours.” The jeweler interrupted.
Kerri blushed slightly and nodded her head. The man took out his fairly large ring of keys and opened the case taking out the bracelet and charms for her to try on.
“It’s gorgeous.” Kerri said.
“It matches your necklace.” Justin stated as he adjusted it in place on her neck.
“It’s got round, brilliant diamonds, a carat total weight of 1.74, color grade G, clarity VS, and pavé-set in platinum.”
Kerri just giggled as she put her arm up for Justin to help her unclasp it, “Yeah…See when you get to talking about clarity VS, and poofy-set’s, that’s when I have to let you put that right back in the case.”
Justin looked towards the jeweler. “How much is it?”
“The bracelet is $1500. The charms are about $300 each.”
Kerri almost dropped the bracelet when she heard the price. She carefully handed it back to the man and backed away from the case. Justin looked down at the charms that were lying on the blue velvet fabric and picked out about three charms and handed them to the jeweler. “Just add that in with my watch” Justin stated, pulling out his wallet.
Kerri immediately went over shaking her head and hands, “No, no, no…That’s ok.” She said looking towards the clerk and pulling on Justin’s arm.
“It’s your birthday. Live a little.” Justin demanded pulling out his credit card.
Kerri pulled Justin to the side and tried to whisper as low as possible, “That is like two month’s rent for both me and Serena! Please, you don’t have to do that, Justin.”
“I know I don’t. But I want to.”
“Just like that? You just pull out your credit card and make a $2,000 purchase at the drop of a dime?”
“It’s actually a lot more than that if you add in what I bought myself.” He smirked walking back over, handing the clerk his card. “Can you wrap that bracelet up real nice for me please?”
Kerri walked over and stood next to him as he was gathering up his receipts. He kept looking over his shoulder out the glass windows into the forum. He always did that anywhere they went. He was always leery about who was watching him or if they was a paparazzi anxiously waiting to snap a photo. He’d done it so often that it became second nature to him. Kerri quietly observed him as he pulled his black hooded sweatshirt up over his hat. When they reached the door, he looked around slightly before walking down the hallway of Forum towards the exit. Kerri noticed people glancing towards him and stopping to take a second look like they recognized him, but thankfully no one stopped him. Justin held the door open for her and a few other people as they made their way outside. He handed her the tiny burgundy bag with white handles.
“It must be good to be you.” She smiled shaking her head at his nonchalant attitude toward the rather extravagant purchase he’d made in less than 10 minutes.
He reached down into her bag and grabbed the box that was holding her bracelet. “Right now at this very moment…With you? I would have to agree that it’s very good to be me right now. I haven’t been able to say that truthfully in a long time.”
Usually this would be the time when Kerri would make a comment to lighten up the mood. But she couldn’t. Something in the way he said it let her know that he was being completely sincere. She looked down and lifted the top off the squared box and noticed a treble clef, turntable, and ballerina charm attached to the bracelet. She’d never expected him to pick out the extra two charms that she had secretly been eyeing. Kerri turned around and kissed him lightly on the cheek. She then leaned up and hugged him tightly and said, “I can see why it’s so hard for a person not to love you, Justin.”
That word caught Justin in the gut. What did she mean? She couldn’t possibly love me, he thought to himself. We’re just supposed to be friends. He was impossible to love. She couldn't possibly genuinely love him. He was snapped out of his thoughts when Kerri yelled out to him to get in the car before they were late.
The hour long flight back to LA was quiet. Serena and Trace were in the back trying to sleep off their hangovers and Kerri was busy writing down notes for work the next day. Justin gazed out his window and stared out at the clouds. He thought back to what Kerri said outside the car and wondered if she actually thought she loved him. He even wondered if he might possibly love her, and when his mind didn’t return an immediate no to the question, he knew he had to do something before everything spiraled completely out of control.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Wednesday night. Lights, camera, action! Sony Computer Entertainment America threw a mega-Hollywood bash to celebrate the launch of a slew of top gaming media. Those who were invited got to "rock and roll all night" with various top-level Sony Executives, models, celebrities and other VIP wannabes at the Pacific Designs Center in LA. Also at the festivities were every major game publisher/developer including Activision, Lucas Arts, Infogrames, and Konami.
After walking down the "blue carpet"-it was blue instead of red because the PS2 logo is blue-and being bombarded by paparazzi, Kerri, Justin, Trace, Kelly, Kyle, Marty and Serena along with other guests were escorted to the parking garage. Parking garage? You read right. Much like Sony's previous parties at E3, this party was held in a parking garage. After being carted up via golf carts to the 3rd level, you couldn't help but feel the pulsating rhythms of trance music. Once again, Sony managed to transform a typical parking garage into something truly unique. With a massive center bar surrounded by huge demo stations of key upcoming titles played on massive projection screens, invited guests got to nibble on beef satay, nouveau sushi and cheese quesadillas.
On the outer rim of the parking lots were virtual living rooms set up with TVs, carpet, sofas and lamps, showing off the new HD playback features. After an hour of cocktails, the party was moved outside to the upper most level. Kelly, Serena, and Kerri sat around watching everyone playing different games.
Justin, Trace, and Marty were off playing games and drinking. Kyle was off dropping Justin’s name everywhere he could. Kerri sat silently watching Justin schmoozing with other celebrities. For the past couple of weeks he seemed distant. It was as though everything that had happened in Vegas stayed in Vegas, because he never mentioned anything about it again. She wondered if she had done or said something wrong. Kelly brushed it off as fatigue due to his gruesome schedule and promotional events he was forced attend like the one they were attending that night. “He’s so focused on the tour that’s coming up and all this other promotional stuff that his mind is preoccupied. I’m sure he isn’t purposely avoiding you, Ker.”
The three women sat around drinking and laughing amongst themselves. They chatted it up with a few celebrities like Jennifer Love Hewitt, Tyra Banks, and Tyrese. Mix Master Mike of the Beastie Boys was cutting and scratching for the pumped up crowd and all Kerri wanted to do was go over and watch him all night. Around the main stage and dance floor were four satellite platforms, complete with pairs of go-go girls. Spread throughout the level were flat panel plasma screens connected to PlayStation hardware showing off more new upcoming titles. The vibe was pure Hollywood and it was definitely the hottest ticket in town.
Kerri felt a bit out of her element. The drinks had loosened her up, but she still felt awkward being amongst people she had only seen via her TV screen. In conversation, people would ask, “What would I have seen you in?”
Kerri would simply smile and say she wasn’t in anything. She was just a friend of a guest. She hated name-dropping and never mentioned that the friend was Justin. Most people would look at each other in an all too familiar way and excuse themselves to find others worth talking to.
Not everyone did that, but it became rather annoying after awhile. She felt more at ease when she met Tommy Lee. He had surrounded himself with beautiful females who were probably Playboy models for all she knew. He was very outgoing and talkative and actually seemed interested in their conversation. They actually even talked about getting together for lunch one day to discuss a band that he had recently heard and wanted to help them get their name out there.
On her way to the restroom, Kerri spotted Justin standing over at one of the consoles playing. There was a woman standing next to him that looked like Alyssa Milano. At closer glance, Kerri discovered that it was indeed the ‘Charmed’ star. It wasn’t like it was the first time that Kerri had seen her. They had met a while ago at a few other promotional parties.
When Kerri returned from the bathroom, she noticed that Ms. Milano was still planted in the same spot, holding Justin’s beer as well as her own, laughing and joking as he played. There was a twinge of jealously and insecurity in the air, but Kerri refused to acknowledge it. If he wanted to talk to someone, who was she to feel this way about it? It wasn’t like he had his tongue down the girl’s throat. It was just two people talking. On her way back to the her seat she kept telling herself "We're just friends...We have an understanding."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Serena knocked on the open door, “You want anything while I’m out, Ker?”
Kerri looked up from her laptop and smiled, shaking her head from side to side.
She and Justin had a routine. He would call at least twice a week. He had called on Monday, but the two of them only spoke briefly before he had to go somewhere with his mother. It was now Sunday and Justin hadn’t called her back. She'd left a message for him on Wednesday. She’d text messaged him on Thursday to see if he was going to be in town so they could hang out, but he still hadn’t gotten back to her.
“He’ll call.” Serena said, hugging the doorframe.
Kerri acted oblivious. “Who? Justin?” she asked as she typed away. “I know. I’m not worried about it. I’ve been so busy that I haven’t even had time to sleep these days, let alone talk to him.”
Kerri was lying and Serena knew it. She sighed deeply and told her that she would be back later. Kerri continued to type with one hand as she waved her off with the other, never meeting her friend’s gaze. When she heard the front door shut, her typing slowed to a halt and she sat on her bed staring down at the screen. The phone rang. “Hello?” she answered anxiously.
“Hey. How’s it goin’?” a female voice asked.
Disappointedly, she replied, “Hey, Kelly. It’s going. Busy as usual. You?”
“You okay? You sound all down in the dumps.”
“No, I’m cool. Just really tired.”
“Well take a break. I’m over here at Tom’s trying to convince him to come out with us this weekend, but he is being a major queen right now...”
Kelly and Kerri talked briefly before Kelly’s phone cut out. Kerri gently closed the lid of her computer and set it aside before curling up into a ball under her throw blanket and starring out the blinds of her window. She could hear ringing and opened her eyes slightly to discover that the sunlight that had been streaming throughout her room was now replaced by moonlight. She squinted her eyes and looked at the clock and saw that it was almost 2am.
“Hello?” She asked groggily.
“Oh, I thought you were out...I was going to leave you a message!” Justin shouted.
Kerri could hear the clinking of glasses and people talking and laughing in the background. “Where are you?” She asked, sitting up to rub the sleep out of her eyes.
“On my way home. I just wanted to say hey, since I haven’t been able to talk to you all week. It’s been hectic lately.”
Kerri tried to talk to Justin but he could hardly hear what she was saying with all the noise. “Look, I’ll call you tomorrow. Get some sleep!”
“Okay, but I-“ It was too late. He had already hung up.
“Now why did you do that?” Trace asked as they walked out of the bar.
“Do what?” Justin asked, digging down into his pocket to find his keys.
Trace just shook his head as they walked along the sidewalk. He didn’t say a word. From all their years spent together, he didn’t need to. Justin automatically knew what he was thinking. He looked straight ahead, never turning his gaze to Trace as he told him about what Kerri had said in Vegas. Trace was about to respond but they were briefly interrupted by a group of paparazzi sprinting up behind them taking pictures. Once they reached the parking garage the three attendants immediately let them pass through while keeping the photographers at bay.
Justin drove down the ramp to the exit and pulled the ticket out of his window to pay. He generously tipped the three attendants and thanked them before pulling out of the garage. He stopped once more and beeped his horn at the photographers who were now standing in front of the car snapping away. He stuck up his middle finger and yelled a few expletives out the window, until the attendants showed up and helped him once more.
As they drove back to Justin's, he patiently waited on Trace to give him his usual advice of getting out of the situation while he still had time. But Justin was shocked when Trace asked, “Well she never said I'm in love with you right? Are you sure you just didn’t take it the wrong way? She is a bigger smart ass than you, and I just don’t see her coming up and spilling her heart out to you…Or to anyone for that matter.”
“I don’t know. It just made me feel uneasy.”
“You’re spending way too much time with her. You’re single. You need to start acting like it. Go out on dates. Flirt a little.”
Now this was the best friend he knew and loved. Trace pulled down the visor and whipped out a CD and slid it into the stereo before looking towards his friend. “The two of you see so much of each other that I think you’re losing sight of the fact that you are only friends…Friends who fuck half the time, but just friends none the less.”
Justin’s phone calls became nonexistent over the next two weeks. Everyone around her would assure Kerri that he was just really busy rehearsing. But Kerri knew something was up. For Justin not even text her?Something just wasn’t right.
He’d gone out of town to do some interviews over at MTV and had recently confirmed his upcoming tour and the press was going crazy. When he came back into town later on that week, he called Kerri and asked her to meet him at his house. Kerri was too quick to grab her keys and run out the door at eleven o’clock at night to see him. But she had to talk to him. She had to know what was going on with him. That’s at least what she kept telling herself as she sped down the highway to meet him.
They spent the night together, but neither of them slept a wink. Kerri barely got in a "Hi" before he dropped his bags at the door and took her into his arms. She had wanted to talk, but when he pinned her up against the wall at the front door and urgently pressed his lips to hers, she could barely remember her own name, let alone what she wanted to talk about.
“Did I sound desperate when I called?” Justin called out from the bathroom.
“Just a tad.” Kerri laughed as she put on his robe. “I was just as desperate though. You didn’t notice that I got here before you?”
As she rose off the bed to find something to put on, she felt a twinge her in gut. It almost resembled pain and regret. Over the past two weeks, Justin couldn't even spare her five minutes of his time, but now he suddenly wanted to go on and on for a half hour about what he was going to do to Kerri when he saw her. As the reality of it all set in, a sinking feeling grew in the pit of her stomach, eating away at her. She did her best to ignore it as she picked their clothes up off the floor.
“I’m at least good for something.” His voice whispered in her ear.
Kerri was startled by his presence behind her and shuddered when his breath hit her lobe. He wrapped his arms around her waist and undid the robe, letting his hands roam up and down her breasts as he lightly kissed her neck. “I can go another nine rounds if you can.”
“I’m hungrier than I am horny right now, Tyson.” She smiled rubbing his hands over her belly. “Maybe a little later after my stomach stops growling.”
But Kerri wasn’t hungry at all. Her stomach was in knots. She retreated into the kitchen to cook them something to eat. Kerri kept playing things over in her head and couldn’t figure out if she was right for feeling the way she did, or if she was merely blowing things out of proportion. Justin grabbed a plate and sat on the couch and watched The Osbourne's as he ate. Kerri sat next to him, barely touching her food as she quietly observed him laughing at something Sharon had said to Kelly about her vagina.
Okay this is normal, she thought to herself. This is what they usually did when they spent time together. Eat, hang out on the couch and watch TV. It must just be all in her head. She watched as Justin continued to scarf down his food as if his mouth were large vacuum. He hardly stopped to chew. When he was finished he took his plate into the kitchen and came back rushing to put on his sneakers. “I gotta go to the gym and meet my trainer for a couple hours. Then I have to go and talk to Marty about some routines for the tour. So you can let yourself out when you get ready and I’ll call you later on.” He rushed, kissing her cheek.
“Whoa, whoa! Hold the fuck up!” Kerri shook her head trying to let her brain catch up with what he’d just said.
“What?” He asked digging into his jacket pockets to find his keys.
“Can you slow down for just a second?” She asked patting the couch.
He walked back over to the couch in a huff and flopped down next to her. Kerri fiddled with her charm bracelet before looking back at him and asking, “Is there something wrong? Are things between us cool?”
“Of course they are. What would make you think that?”
“Well, let’s see…Could it be the fact that I just spent half the night with your dick buried inside me and this morning you are rushing outta here trying to get as far away from me as you can?”
“No. It’s nothing like that at all. I’m just so busy these days that I’ve been trying to juggle a million things at once and when I do get a chance to breathe, I still run around like I’m working. I’m sorry. With Trace, it’s understood. I sometimes forget that you aren’t used to all this.”
“Well, you’re not sticking your dick in Trace. So I think it's ridiculous to make a comparison between us...Unless there is something you want to tell me about the two of you.” Kerri tried to joke to lighten the tension in the room. “I just get this feeling that you are avoiding me for some reason. And to be brutally honest with you, last night wasn't all I'd hoped it'd be...It was like you weren't even there.”
That was the first time that anyone had something unfavorable to say about his skills in the bedroom. Rather than get into an argument about it he said, "No. I’m just really stressed right now.”
“Yeah. That’s what everyone keeps telling me. From Serena all the way up to Trace…But you call me from this club and that bar or other people will mention they saw you here and hung out with you there, and it’s like you’re busy partying, not rehearsing.” Kerri turned her body to face Justin and looked deep into his eyes. “And that’s cool, but I’d rather you be straight with me instead of handing me down excuses. I’m always straight up with you, whether you want me to be or not. That’s all I expect in return.”
Justin got up and ran his hands across what little hair he had and took a deep breath. “I think we’re spending too much time together."
Kerri sat and listened to him explain about times where he felt awkward talking to other females because she was around. He was like a recording, playing back everything that Trace had said weeks earlier. She felt a little hurt that he felt the way he did about their friendship. She asked how long he had been feeling that way and he confessed that it was ever since their trip to Vegas for her birthday.
Kerri started to laugh, “Ah. That’s what this is about? I was trying to be more open and tell you how much I appreciated you…as a friend.”
She could see the feeling of relief wash over his face and smiled. Guys are too funny, she thought to herself. Justin apologized for not bringing it up right when it happened. With everything out in the open and settled, Kerri headed towards the kitchen to clean up their plates. Her back was turned to him as she washed the dishes.
“I met someone recently.” He muttered.
That feeling in the pit of her stomach was back again. She stopped in mid-wipe, “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. I was thinking of asking her out to dinner, but I wanted you to know…Keep everything out in the open. I hated not being able to talk you lately.”
“Fair enough.” She smiled. “Anyone I know?”
“Yeah. You’ve met her before. It’s Alyssa Milano.”